Thursday, March 30th

man...

Classical @ 07:54 pm CST

how terrible.
at the time of typing here, all we know is that there were four girls from my school that were involved in that crash. and at least one of them was in my grade. i don't doubt that i at least have heard of them and know who they are as classmates...
i reeeeeally want to know who. worries me.

but umm, in other news, i'm feeling pretty damn good.
english and philosophy are over. didn't even have to sit through my last english class, either; went down with emily and alexa to the art rooms to deface the whiteboards and munch on mini candies.
bring on the art classes, man! (i am so ready. XD)

annnnd i am feeling accomplished because i've been well, making friends (at a lack for better words) with a girl i've actually 'worked' for since last year, but never met. i colored some pictures for her that were handed to me by other friends last year... the funny thing is she's been in my precalc and philosophy class all quarter and i just realized who she was like, last week and got to know her finally. XD;
she's great. very pessimistic, but great. XD it's good fun to color someone else's stuff once in a while and have another person to talk to about art-related stuff (among other things).

this time i'm not coloring a picture for her, but someone else who's umm...important. now i'm pressured to make it look really good, so let's see how long i end up putting it off, haha...

also conquered physics today. somewhat. our quiz and last homework assignment got moved to monday, but they still are going to show up on this quarter's grade. damnit. >_> but i think looking stuff over again this weekend will only help me and i'll just cross my fingers for that 94% to stay where it is (or go up, ahaha) so i can keep my A.

and there were other things that made today good, but i've forgotten what they were, ahaha. so whatever!
i'm off to a friend's house, anyway. -flies off- ~

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Monday, March 27th

three days...

Classical @ 09:05 pm CST

three days... 'til classes end... >_>
i'm just gonna have to do a countdown here, because i am really giving up all the energy left in my reserves just to finish english and philosophy. and try to finish this quarter of physics with an A (which i'm really worried won't happen, though i got a better score than expected on my last quiz).
this week is just going to drag, i can already feel it.

to add to my long week, i already know tomorrow will be no fun, because i will be spending most of the time between after i get home from school and about seven driving from place to place. i have to take my sister back and forth to her golf practice, then drop her off in the next town over for hockey, then immediately turn around and drive to the airport to pick up my parents and little brother.
yeah, they're coming home tomorrow and i really didn't miss them too much. i don't know whether to feel good about my distance from them because that means it'll be really easy for me to give them up when i go off to college or if i should feel bad because umm...i didn't miss them at all.
i know that i will miss this nice clean, quiet house i've been living in for the past week. it's been annoying that i've had to clean up after my sister a lot because she just...leaves crap everywhere, but it's stayed relatively tidy because my brother hasn't been around, mucking everything up even more.

yeah, i can handle living on my own. in fact, i will probably be waiting impatiently.

though my family is turning around again and leaving over this long weekend for stillwater for my sister's hockey tournament, so there's another three days where i get the whooooole house to myself for three days, yay! i will probably spend the whole weekend playing kingdom hearts and final fantasy x because umm...i can. and maybe catching up on some drawing, though i'm saving most of that for next week when i fly off to florida.
i won't have any homework or anything over this weekend, so you'll know where to find me, haha.

[/babbling] since my laundry's done, i think i'm just going to jump in the shower and head off to bed fairly early tonight, because i am tiiired. i didn't even stay up very late last night, but school and everything is just wearing me out.

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Friday, March 24th

-rolls around~-

Classical @ 09:02 pm CST

yaaaaay! :D
so i went right after school with a couple of friends down to uptown to pick up a friend of mine from gaia who's from indiana. she and her family were visiting mcad because that's where she's really leaning toward these days, so i had to see her while she was here.

took her to a nice greek restaurant (we were originally planning on passage to india, but katie + spicy foods = no. :<) it was all good food and stuff; drew her fox and she drew me some cal-mans in my sketchbook that i get to immortalize with the rest of the stuff she's done for me. <333 then we just kinda wandered around town. it was damn cold, so we didn't get too far. but i did pick up two awesome skirts and a copy of v for vendetta at the great comic book store down there.

but it was nice to meet her for the first time 'cause she's an awesomely nice person with rad pink hair. :D her family is very nice, too. much more well-behaved than mine, for starters. XD
of course, around them i was acutely more aware of how strong my minnesotan accent is because ours are so different, ahaha.

and now i'm all tired from driving everywhere (i really hate driving in the city... the narrow roads are SCARY when you have a beast of a car like mine) and it's only nine. i think that's from the lack of caffiene in my system, so i'm going to go pour some pepsi into me and play video games until my concentration comes back. then i need to get art-related crap done, because this thing has been sitting on my desk ALL WEEK and i haven't been able to touch it. :<

classes end in four more school days. DD: thank fucking god. i cannot honestly wait for next quarter. AT ALL.

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Monday, March 20th

unlucky. or something.

Classical @ 03:47 pm CST

feeling: irritable

well... this is uneventful.

so my brother goes to plug in the playstation 2 last night to play whatever game he got, and we find that we don't have a power cord. we have some ac adapter thing, but it doesn't plug into the console anywhere...

so my mother went to return it today. instead of getting another used console, though, she picked up the new slim version of the thing, brand-new. so it would also come with a one-year warranty. cost us a few more dollars, but eh! it was worth it.

but here i go to plug in the thing and play some katamari damacy... i open up the game box and there's no cd inside.
after tearing apart my bedroom looking for the thing, i've come to the conclusion that they sold me the game without a cd inside. it was used, so they didn't have any special packaging on it that would've been broken if someone had tried to tamper with it.

just...you have no idea how irritated i am with this one.
the thing is, i don't know how i can prove this to them. but i guess i will have to try, because there's no way i'm spending $18 on an empty box.

but that means i have to go back to the store, which probably won't happen tonight, because my mother has my car at this moment and is getting it washed and the oil changed.

i'm just...so mad. i waited all day, knowing i would get to play this thing when i got home, but now i can't, because i don't have a game.
UGH.

...i should go and try to type my paper tonight and do whatever homework i need to get done so my time will be freed up tonight, but i'm shaking right now because i'm so upset with this crap and i just don't want to deal with it. this place i got it from had some pretty good deals on games, but i don't think i'm going to be shopping there too often if all i'm getting are missing pieces. :/

[link]

playstation~ -drool-

Classical @ 05:40 pm CST

I HAVE A PS2. :DDDDD
nothing too special about it yet; i only have katamari damacy at the moment until my federal tax returns come in the next couple of days here. then i'll be buying games like no tomorrow. i needs me some final fantasy X, okage: shadow king, psychonauts, and ddr. and maybe kingdom hearts and xenosaga, but i'm not sure on those ones yet. and i was gonna get silent hill, but that means i'd actually have to abandon my ps2 for a little while to play the first one on the old console. so i dunno!

but, shit, man... it's shiny. :D
bought it used at a local game chain store for pretty cheap... i probably could've gotten it cheaper off of ebay or something if i wanted to wait around and participate in bid wars and whatnot. but i wanted the immediate satisfaction of owing this thing. D; <333

annnd i think i should probably set some money aside (if i have anything left, haha) for twilight princess, because that finally freaking comes out next month. it was supposed to come out around my birthday, man. :<

...
..VIDEO GAMES! :D watch me become a mindless addict. i really love video games; it's just that i haven't ever had anything more than a gamecube, and you can't get too much on that thing outside of zelda games. and then there's my crappy computer, which isn't made for games, because it cries little emo tears whenever i load photoshop, let alone a complex game.

god, i want to play katamari SO BAD, but i have eight more of these paper things to write and some more homework, then a shower and laundry awaiting me after that.
my baby cries for meeee. D: -cuddles console-

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hair cut?

Classical @ 09:31 am CST

welp! i've trimmed my own bangs for the first time in...ever. the only other time i've cut my hair was when i was a kid and i took a huge awkward chunk out. my mother got really mad at me. XD;

but! i'm really tired of professionals fucking up my hair, so i did it myself. and i did a pretty damn good job, if i do say so myself. they're not in my eyes, anymore, to say the least.
but now i have little bits of hair all over my shirt, blah.

and...that's probably gonna be the highlight of my sunday here. that and maybe that i'm going clothes shopping a little later, if i can finish my schoolwork. D;
i have yet to finish reading about...six short stories and then write little reviews on all ten of them. then i have to do precalculus homework, and a wee bit of physics homework, and then attempt to start on a rough draft for my stupid critical analysis paper for english (though i'm not too worried about that--i have two-thirds of it done, because i have the introduction and conclusion typed out and while the body still remains in phrases, i took the time to really flesh out my thoughts there).

so i should probably get to that if i hope to finish anything. i really wanted to finish some art i was working on, because, i mean, it's CAL, but that's not going to happen today. ;n;
siiigh. current classes end in two weeks, though. then it's off to the DRAWING KINGDOM~! and no-homework land. :DDD

[link]

Thursday, March 16th

-runs around-

Classical @ 07:47 pm CST

feeling: fabulous

SLEEPY.
the end of the week drag is catching up with me. i'm getting tired too early here... i have a paper to focus on.

but umm... i've had a great day. :D well, most of it wasn't anything spectacular, rather stressful due to the fact that i had that presentation at the end of the day to worry about. but my mood went way up in a matter of oh, thirty minutes.

the presentation went great. standards weren't set too high yet. XD we only got through half of it before class ended, but that meant i was doing a good job bullshitting my way through that to take up time.
so we have to speak some more tomorrow, but that'll be simple.
i reeeeeeeeally hope this means that it helps out my grade. i have a B+ in that class ONLY because of the fact that i didn't turn something in on time and i got zero credit for it. it was a little assignment. it's ridiculous that it pulled my grade down so far. D<

anyway... then i got home and found howl's mvoing castle sitting at my door. :DD -rolls on DVD goodness- i'll have to watch that this weekend amongst the writing of many (more) papers.
and i was in the newspaper, along with emily and alexa. for that lake conference thingie. they published the worst picture of all of us, but hey...something for the scrap book, i guess. XD;

annnnnd i'm seeing v for vendetta tomorrow. doesn't really get much better than that. :D!
...
well, it could, if some magical fairy came down, waved a wand, and made my paper here complete. or some goblins kidnapped the damn english teacher so i wouldn't have to turn this in tomorrow... but, umm... yeah.

aahh, what the hell, i'm trying to wash this kimono coat i bought a while back to rid it of its itchiness and SHITTY SMELL, but it's not working. it's leaving foam around the inside of the washer. :| whatever, i give up on this thing...

...[/random whining]

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Wednesday, March 15th

blarrgh~

Classical @ 08:15 pm CST

feeling: :\

so i caved in and downloaded aim. because it's the only way i'm going to ever be able to talk to this one guy...
this program is such a PAIN IN THE ASS. it comes with so much extra crap i don't want and slows down my computer so badly. but i downloaded trillian and it cuts down on the background processes aim usually opens.
damn thing. but umm... for anyone who cares, it's clas1ca.

uhh...in other news, not much is happening. i'm neck-deep in homework and praying that a snow day will come our way tomorrow (though i know it won't), because i don't want to give this damn presentation tomorrow.
i'm not ready. it's not ready; our teacher gave us this sheet with stuff we were apparently supposed to have on our powerpoint, and half of it wasn't on there. so here i am trying to figure out how to put it together logically and it's not working so well. mostly because i just spent an hour and a half putting together the food that another group member was supposed to do, but since she wasn't at school and didn't have most of the ingredients, i got stuck with it.
so i'm going to be up late tonight.

at least i don't have anything immediately due tomorrow. though i was supposed to get a lot of reading done and some work done on a paper for english. oops.

UGH, i will be so glad when this round of classes ends at the end of the month. then i'll have two blocks solely devoted to drawing--most of which will be of the subject matter that i want to do. i might even see if my teacher will allow me to turn in comic work for points, which i'm sure he will. fucking awesome. :DDD
and the other two blocks won't be so bad, because pre-calculus is EASY. and then there's physics hell, but that's another story...
in other words, i have three slack-off classes. it will be bliss. i will probably be getting a job in mid-may once my ap tests are over, just because i will have so little to do. XD

so yeah. my hands smell like sesame oil, and y'know what? that stuff smells like SHIT. so i'm going to go shower, because this crap is making me gag.

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Sunday, March 12th

i see!

Classical @ 05:35 pm CST

so i've had a pretty good day so far. :3
the only downside is the fact that i've been up since...seven-thirty, half-assedly working on homework to try to stay caught up. i have to really try to finish this powerpoint thing tonight for my group, then fill out a couple of worksheets. there was a lot more that was supposed to be done here...like the short stories i never started and finishing a novel, but the latter will be done tomorrow night, no biggie there. and uhh, i guess i'll work on the short stories throughout the week and into the weekend, because they're not due until...tuesday that week, it looks like.

BUT! i went down to the science museum today to see rana. it was great. :D
i miss that lady! we talked about a bunch of stuff while wandering around (my physics teacher would be proud of me... i learned physicy-related stuff). we told me and showed me the comic she's working on... one about two pianists who meet again after six years. and i talked about mine with my own quiet pianist.
she gave me a lot to think about. which is awesome, because there's so many holes in that plot still. i have yet to really figure things out, but i have some ideas now, so the connections will come soon. i, at least, have a general understanding of how my comic is going to go along now... haven't been able to see that before without running into a block.
lyk, omg guys! i may actually (finally!) get a comic done.

she also recommened a few movies for me to see, some events to look out for, and some advice on what to do for my college portfolio and everything. local guys: we need a movie night and we gotta go to microcon at the end of april, here... and we have to attend some of the cartoon conspiracy meetings sometime, but i think doing that into april will be a better idea, since it's the end of the quarter here...

anyway. whoo!
now to get back to work... gotta finish this crap, do laundry, and somehow mentally prepare myself for tomorrow. siiiiigh.

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Saturday, March 11th

yays.

Classical @ 06:03 pm CST

feeling: :3

whee, i'm excited~
i got to go out and see night watch for the second time. i saw it first at CONvergence this summer, but that was at about two in the morning. i was so tired at that point that i didn't understand the movie at all, but all i knew is that the visual effects BLEW ME AWAY.

now that i've seen it for a second time, i adore it. wonderful film, now that i completely understand the story, and i anticipate the next film.

so while that (scary) adventure to uptown was great, i also have things coming up tomorrow. tomorrow is my last day of spring break, sadly, and i have a lot of homework to get done between now and tomorrow night, but i really look forward to tomorrow for the fact that i'm getting to meet up with my old comic mentor/friend/awesome person, rana.
i haven't seen her since early last summer, so there's a lot to get caught up on. i really do miss the mentorship program and just...spending time with her, because she's a great person and also taught me so much. so i'm way excited to see her tomorrow, show her what i've been working on, see what she's been working on (apparently we're both designing comics that are about pianists, haha!), and perhaps get some advice on what to do with college and stuff. she's been through all that and now that she's out in the working world, i have a feeling she'll be able to share some more of her wisdom with me.

-rolls about- so i'm having a fun-filled weekend here! i hope i can settle things down and get everything done, so this can be a good start to going back to school on monday... because the next three weeks will be a living hell with the end of the quarter coming up.
i'm really glad my trip is after this quarter ends, not right at the end. or i would be fucked.

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Thursday, March 9th

...wow.

Classical @ 10:09 pm CST

feeling: amazed.

so, umm...
guys, i'm so speechless. i really don't know what to say on the honors i've just recieved.

the art conference went, well...spectacular.
twelve high schools, 120 enteries in all. they were judged by a college professor who teaches illustration and ceramics.
there was so much bloody talent in the show. just...wow. it blew my mind. i can't recall even one piece i didn't like. everything was so great. some of my favorites was this linoleum print of puffins and a caricature-type portrait that was heavily reminiscent of tim burton's work.

but, in the end, rooftop allegory came out in the top ten. the top ten?!
i wasn't even too happy with this piece. there's a lot of things i would change about it, especially in that background. but since i had put too much work into it, i entered it anyway... and i'm pretty happy i did, man.

emily, alexa, and heather entered the show, too. all of which won awards. our school also got an insane amount of awards compared to the rest of the schools... everyone else had about two or three while we had seven.

it's just so crazy and i'm still practically hyperventilating over it.

i made sure to thank that judge about a billion times. i'm...so amazed. he gave comments on all the award-winning pieces and what really made me go "ughabuh?!" was that he said he wanted to see more of my work. that's a good sign, i'd say.

but i also got to talk to him with my friends and we got his contacts. which is good.
i plan on using those to my advantage, man. i am going to get in contact with him and allow him to know me, because not only will that give me someone important to have write a recommendation for college, but it will also allow me to learn more about what he does. he was an illustrator, and that's what i'm planning on right now for college.
it probably means i'll have to go on a couple of visits around the college he works at, which i have very little interest in as it is, but to gain the wisdom of someone successful in the field i want to enter? abso-fucking-lutely worth it.

[/shining glory] i'm just...so blown away that this went somewhere. i was honored enough just being selected to be in the conference, representing our school...
but a huge award like this? i never saw it coming. never.

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yay for stuff!

Classical @ 05:52 pm CST

so! stuff has happened.
i have to leave for the lake conference art show in about thirty-five minutes, so while i have a bunch of inking to do, it's not worth getting the supplies out to do it right now.

but, wow. i'm actually having my artwork displayed in a real showcase?
i'm not really sure how to feel on this one. i think that the only reason i got into the showcase in the first place, representing our school ('yo), is because all the great senior artists graduated last year. XD; i'm going to be up against so much talent from around the greater metro area, man... i highly doubt that i'll win anything. i have a feeling this conference is probably a little more conservative anyway, so they'll be all "fine arts, whoo" and think of my stuff as cartoony scribbles.
and the dispalyed image isn't my favorite, anyway... it just had a helluva lot of work put into it.

but i guess it's still an honor to be in it in the first place. something to put on my resume, anyway.

i gotta get caught up on homework, or i'll be so stressed come sunday night. i just realized that after today, i only have three days left of my spring break. x_x
i need to get started on some powerpoint i was going to put together, because i have a group counting on me for that one. and then read two books, which is no huge hurdle besides the fact that i actually have to sit and read for a long period of time. and then read a bunch of annoying short stories... then perhaps start on my english paper.
but, man... i will be all busy on saturday, it seems, watching movies with friends and stuff that homework is going to come crashing down on me pretty quickly if i don't get to it.

but i want to drawww. D: i just got all this bristol and markers yesterday and i want to use them. i started something yesterday (omg, crappy preview!) and i'm going to be redrawing something i started last week, but also at a bigger size.
i've realized how i love drawing big. D; i can make so many mistakes with my inking and still get away with it, because i'm inking to a much larger scale and it's easier to hide them. plus it's not such a killer on my wrist, because i make my lines so much thicker when it's this large. plus there's way more room for detail!
though i have no idea how i'm going to stuff this thing in my scanner when i'm done with it. blah.

but! if this comes out (i can't decide on pencil shading or markers... though maybe i could do a combination of both?), i think i will sell the original at CONvergence this summer. and make prints to maybe sell at art for earth or something. i mean, i'm liking this, and it's bigger, so it's...like...worthy of selling. because i don't know many people who would buy art the size of printer paper, on average.

still haven't even started on my comic when i said i would. XD; oh well.

anyway, it's time to go and fix myself up before i leave here, so that's about it for this entry. for closure, i managed to pick up goblet of fire and i have howl's moving castle coming. i watched the first last night... gahhh, puberty did ron wonders. <33
and i got my act thing in the mail. i had signed up for the wrong date, but there wasn't much i could do about it until i got my thing in the mail... so i got that fixed (at the expense of a fee of $18... but it was really my stupid mistake).

AND i have my tax returns coming, but i may not be spending them on a playstation 2. since i brought up the interest, my mother is working on my father to buy a "family" playstation 2. which means i'd have to share, but it would save me the troubles of fighting with my siblings.
all that money would end up going to games and other various things, though. XD i wanna get katamari damacy (and probably we <3 katamari), kingdom hearts, final fantasy X and maybe taiko drum master along with some of the silent hill games, because i've only heard such good about them. but i would probably also have to try to get my hands on a copy of the first silent hill for my old playstation.

plus i'm really...uhh, relieved that my mother and i are seeing a bit more eye-to-eye right now on colleges. i explained stuff to her and i think we got back on track. i think disagreements were happening because we weren't really understanding everything as the other did. for now, anyway.
i will still probably get dragged to lots of colleges i don't want to go to, but they won't be the full tour thing.
however, i will also probably get to spend four or five days in new york this summer, basically on my own, exploring the city, because my mother will be over there for some convention and i wanna visit a couple of colleges there.

...
ANYWAY. i'm off, for real now.

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Friday, March 3rd

rants.

Classical @ 05:08 pm CST

feeling: irritable

so, what can i say.

it's spring break for me here; i'm out of school for the next nine days. that's pretty swell, because i do need the extra sleep and some time to do absolutely nothing at all. and maybe do some art-related stuff. i think i'm going to attempt to actually start a comic that i had planned to start over my christmas break and never did, haha.

but it's been incredibly stressful so far. things were left uhh, untied back at school and i have to wait until i go back to fix them. also, when i go back, the end of the quarter will be coming up, so you know what that means! cram cram cram time.

i am also getting bitched at left and right here by my parents for no other apparent reason other than the fact that i am at home for the day.
it's really wearing on my nerves.

i have my sights set on a college already, which is something i feel is pretty reasonable. it's not like i'm trying to get into the best art college out there or trying to do something way out of my abilities. i want to go to MCAD and that's about it.
in order to go there, i have been working hard at keeping my grades while working on portfolio-quality pieces. the last review i got told me that when i fill in the gaps of the portfolio (which are very reasonably attainable for me), i will not only have a good chance of being accepted, but also will have a good shot at the scholarships. not trying to sound high and mighty, but that's what i've been told. but, y'know, just in case, i plan on applying to a few other colleges as well (but they look even harder to get into, so...yeah).
i am planning for tests and deadlines. outside of financial aid, which i will be looking into on my own pretty soon, i would say that i'm pretty much set, right?

apparently not.
my parents--mostly my mother, but that's because she's the only one home--seem to think that i am not ready to make desicions on my own yet, because i am of a mere age of seventeen. nevermind the fact that i am legally an adult in november.

she seems to be getting this stuff from a book and needs to follow the college process step-by-step or something will go wrong. she is insisting that i visit some unreasonable number of colleges (liberal arts colleges, no less) so i have something to "compare."
compare what? i have found the college that fits everything i want in a college. strong traditional arts roots, urban location that i am also familiar with, small size, very good shot at financial aid even though it's a bit expensive. it's everything i want, but my mother seems to be insisting that there's more somewhere else. at liberal arts colleges, as well. she thinks that, for whatever reason, art colleges don't have the best programs for visual arts students, so she wants me to look elsewhere.

so, umm... yeah, the logic of this argument is abandoning me. liberal arts colleges are for liberal arts majors. art colleges are for art majors. just because they both have "art" in the name doesn't mean that they are the same thing. i wonder if she'd be freaking out in the same way if i told her i wanted to go to a technical school for a technical degree in whatever.
i've done the research. what's also pissing me off is that she thinks i haven't done any work on this. very much wrong. i have been looking into the required repetore for the liberal arts majors for art. a large chunk of the credits are liberal arts--i.e. math, science, and other various shit i will never use--and less than a third of the credits are even related to my major. the university of minnesota requires that i take only 28 credits worth of art classes, while the rest of them are liberal arts. MCAD's illustration major requires that i take at least 80 studio and art-based credits, with the rest of them being specialized liberal arts credits. i am not shelling out thousands of dollars to not only take classes on things i learned in high school, but also on things i have little use for in the future.
it's such a joke. getting a "general" or "studio arts" major at one of these schools would be totally screwing myself over about five hundred times. careers require specialization these days and the classes that i have to take for these colleges are very general, just as the major suggests: drawing and ceramics classes and the like. what i need is a focus on the line of work i want to be doing--most likely illustration--and i can't get that with these general art classes. i have looked for the type of classes art colleges offer in the liberal arts colleges and i can't find them. liberal arts colleges specialize in liberal arts studies, not the visual arts.
fuck, even some don't have art majors. i know that, locally, st. thomas doesn't have one, along with several other big-name four-year colleges.

these liberal arts colleges are for people who want science or other acaedemic careers, and while that's great for them, it's not the right choice for me.
furthermore, just because you went to one doesn't mean that it's the right choice for me, either. just because we're related doesn't mean we have the same interests and hopes for the future.

something's telling me that my parents are somehow feeling "cheated" because i'm not allowing them the "full" college experience with all the visits and exploration and whatever. what really disgusted me yesterday is that they said "my" college choice was actually "our" college choice, merely because they were paying for it.
well, i never asked for your help, anyway.

your college years were twenty-five years ago. this choice is mine and mine alone. if you're not gonna support me, i will do it myself.

what's really been the final straw is the fact that i took it upon myself to sign up for the ACT test in june. i figured i was doing a good thing here, getting a test done, so it would be one less thing to get nagged about.
and then my mother EXPLODES all over me for it. first it was the fact that she has to pay for it now rather than some other time, and then it was the fact that i was somehow taking the "wrong" test. for some goddamn reason, she is convinced that the test all colleges want to see is the SAT, when most colleges in this area generally want to see the ACT. i actually plan on taking both, but the deans at school have told me that if i plan on staying somewhat local, then i should be taking the ACT first, because only schools on the coast prefer the SAT over the ACT.

it's just...christ, man! everything i do is just not good enough.
i'm so sick of this shit. i'm tired of being treated like i don't know what i'm doing. i'm tried of being scolded like a child for actually doing the right thing here. the more i get bitched at about college and my future or whatever, the more i want nothing to do with it.

in the end, the lapse between each of my mother's responses to what i had to say in return to her about that damn ACT test were a bit more reassuring. i think it may just be starting to sink in that i am more intelligent and resourceful on this college stuff than she knows.
but i'll knock on wood and hope i didn't just jinx myself by saying that.

[link]

man...

same old shit.

three days...

-rolls around~-

english will be the death of meeee.

unlucky. or something.

-eats homework-

playstation~ -drool-

hair cut?

-runs around-

blarrgh~

i see!

yays.

...wow.

yay for stuff!

:D

rants.