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Classical @ 06:54 pm CST

those marketplace bastards liiiied to me.
well, not really. but i totally disregarded the "shipping per pound" thing when i was ordering my bags. so i thought the 1-3 day shipping option would've only cost me 5.45. turns out, it was actually 19.95, because it adds on like, four bucks, for every pound of the package. so i said, "fuck, no; that's more than half the order itself. screw that."

grrr.
so i have no hope of getting them before school starts now. which makes me sad, because i really don't want to take my donut-smelling bag with me to my first day of classes. ._.

oh welllll...
i guess i'll try to air it out this weekend, and i'll probably have to go out to the mall one last time this week for get some shirts, so i'll maybe pick up some of that febreeze odor remover crap while i'm at it.

i got paid today. 282 bucks. @_e
and i added some stuff i had taken out of my account earlier back in, so i ended up depositing like...311 dollars.

...

and i have THREE MORE DAYS LEFT, h0mg!
i met the girl who's replacing mandi in the mornings today. she seems nice enough. i wonder who's going to replace me, though... maybe i'll end up training in someone this week. XP

school shopping~

Classical @ 08:24 pm CST

OMG I BOUGHT PANTS.
do a dance! -w00t-

yes, i made a successful shopping trip this afternoon. i went to kohl's with my sister and actually found pants that fucking fit me right.
if you know me well enough, then you know that i like to shop and spend money. but there's one thing that i honestly hate shopping for, and it's pants. i rarely find ones that fit me right. because of that, i was a skirt girl all summer, and boy pants before that.

but now i found some! finally!
and they're not guy pants, either. XD


me: hah, i win! i finally found girl pants that fit me well...not guy pants for once.
dan: funny how that works.
if i were caught wearing girl pants, it would be a national disaster.


heheh. XD dan in girl pants...

anyway!
i found four pairs of pants, two of which are actually blue jeans. i, like, never wear blue jeans. and a pair of black pinstripe pants, and a nice drawstring khaki-colored pair.
and none of them cost over thirty dollars. :D i still managed to spend the remainder of my last paycheck on those pants, three shirts, and a nice sweater jacket, though. (but i'll get re-embursed for it--my mom owes me about $250 right now. XDD)

whoooo. i love successful shopping trips like this.
i was supposed to find some solid color t-shirts or camisoles today, too, but i can never seem to find any. :/ so i'll have to look on-line... along with some new converses...

speaking of on-line shopping.
i'm ordering a new bag. because my old one smells like donut shit. mom's all, "put it outside for a day in the sun and it'll air itself out."
pfft.

so i'm still deciding between two bags, and i'll have to order tomorrow if i want to have any hope of getting it before school starts, so i'd better pick soon.
paratrooper bag with red star
or
classic medic bag with cross

there's pros and cons to each. they're about the same price, but different sizes. the medic bag is a bit smaller, so i'm afraid it won't hold all my crap for school. the paratropper bag is the same size as the bag i have now, and has a few different compartments (the other one doesn't).
but i've always wanted a bag with those buckle straps like that!! and i'm afraid of being called a communist if i get the star bag. o_o XD...

so. yup. help me decide? again? D:


uggh. and now i'm off to work on commissions and stuff. i have soooo much work to do before school starts that i've actually made myself a day-by-day plan of what i'm supposed to be doing this week. >>;
i guess...as long as i don't get down to an hour-by-hour plan, it's not a sign that my ocd is advancing further... DD:

simplicity.

Classical @ 09:44 pm CST

...
...why do the definitions of very important words always differ?


"college" means to me a small-sized private art college in the city, here i'm surrounded by culture and other creative minds.
"college" means to my parents a big college in the middle of nowhere, where i'm forced to take classes in subjects that will not help me on my career that i plan on living.

a "career" to me is something related to art. whether that's graphic design, fine arts, illustration, everything down to t-shirt design and creating booklets.
a "career" to my parents is something in an engineering field, medicine, teaching, something big-name like that. where i could be raking in the dough. but at what cost? my happiness. my freedom. everything that is actually IMPORTANT to me.

a "good living" to me means a happy life in which i enjoy the work i do, whether or not i'm loaded with money and other worthless material possessions because of it. it doesn't matter to me if i get famous or powerful or rich. it honestly doesn't.
a "good living" to my parents means that i'm on top of the world, the best at everything, and have tons of money. where does all that shallow wealth get you? no where, once you're dead.

being "wealthy" to me means that i fill my life with compassion, love. where i live my life loving everything that i do. that is a rich lifestyle.
being "wealthy" to my parents means that i have lots of money in my pockets at all time so i can fill my life with useless, meaningless, materialistic possessions.

"using my talents" to me means that i am doing art, while exercising my other strengths as merely hobbies.
"usnig my talents" to my parents means that i am threatening to burn myself out because i am attempting to encompass everything that i can do into one career and one lifestyle.


here's the fork in the road. in reality, the most likely outcome for me is that:
i get a job in a field that i love to do and i enjoy my life, but i have to work for my pay
or
i get a job in a field that i don't enjoy, but i get paid enough to be considered wealthy


i'm sorry.
but i think i'm going to stick with my happiness, thankyouverymuch.

money does NOT fucking rule my life. i REFUSE to let it. sure, it frustrates me and is nice to have, but i will
NEVER.
EVER.
sacrifice living a "happily ever after" for it.
YOU may think that having a career in something big would make YOU happy, as well as it would make me.
but you forget! i'm not that fucking shallow. money cannot buy the kind of happiness i crave in life.



i'm a fucking transendentalist, i swear.



simplicity, simplicity, simplicity.

school again?

Classical @ 11:21 am CST

so! orientation was today.
i had to sit through a ten-minute seminar on parking today. can you even begin to imagine how lame that was? i also found out that i can't switch which parking lot i park in, so i get to walk. a lot. -_-
and i didn't get to see where my house was, because i'm i the new one and they're still working on it. but i got to peek; it looks...normal, i guess?
most of my classes appear to be in purple or blue, too. but that may change, since my schedule had to get switched around.

i saw phish and sarah there, too! i think i may be in world studies with phish for one quarter, but otherwise i'm not with either of them. merp. T^T

my schedule was totally fucked up, though. i had about three random study halls and a missing quarter of the physics i was supposed to take. so my schedule isn't certain and i think i may have missed something.
but here's how i think it's gonna look. the second semester is all right; the first one is a bit wonky still.


so, here's the schedule:

quarter one
ap world studies, bienkowski
psychology, powell
art independant study, hager (this is uncertain, but most likely.)
...something. i don't think i actually have anything here. o_O

quarter two
ap world studies, bienkowski
humanities and fine arts, bovard
art independant study, hager (also uncertain.)
ap physics, lund

quarter three
honors english 11, harlander
pre-calc, brooks
ap physics, lund
humanities and philosophy, powell

quarter four
creative writing, flores
pre-calc, brooks
drawing III, hager? (i didn't get the teacher, but it's probably hager)
ap physics, lund


i was so pissed; i had to drop ap european history and wait until next year for it. T^T my schedule was so messed up because of it, though... so i stuck with physics, because i didn't want to have physics and calculus my senior year, at the same time.
i also have to wait to take sociology. and any of those other social study classes that got cancelled, like anthropology.

arrg.
oh well. i get a whole class for a whole semester, devoted to art and building my portfolio. i can't complain too much, can i?

and first quarter looks like it'll be a breeze, compared to what i was thinking it'd be like. because physics got pushed to the end of the year and i had to drop european history, i'm only gonna have to juggle one ap class that quarter.

i'm gonna call it a good warm-up opportunity!

to do.

Classical @ 01:24 pm CST

to do before school starts:

- order a new bag, because the old one permenantly smells like day-old donuts
- get some needed art supplies
- buy pants, shoes, and some plain color shirts
- get my cardigan returned and exchanged for the right color
- finish exchange piece
- finish the cheese's trade thing
- finish ilostmyname's collaboration piece
- finish commission for nuriko
- finish both auction pieces
- ship paquito arts <3
- do something cool on my notebook for school
- solidify "pianist" idea for comic...
- ...and start roughing those pages
- draw a decent picture of trevor, damn it
- order those linoleum blocks...
- ...and do a three- or four-character print series (cal, cleo, trevor, mys?)
- figure out how the HELL i'm going to run the string ensemble this year
- pick up playing violin again
- make a list of "ten colleges i want to visit" to please mother...
- buy yarn for anders's scarf
- finish reading american gods
- get hair cut
- quit job

- start sleeping regularily

- don't panic.

end.

so. school.

Classical @ 11:43 pm CST

okay, so i guess my mother's rant that she gave me a few days back finally hit me.

i'm gonna be an official high school junior in three weeks tomorrow. applications go in this year and the next.
so if i'm attending an art college, that means this year is portfolio-building year.

and i have a helluva lot of work to do.

so i sat down and did my first-ever actual life drawing--a self-portrait.
i look, like, thirty years old in it. xDD;

but, eh. at least it's not absolutely hideous, and it's a big step for me. i've never done anything like this seriously before.
and as i continue to work at it, it'll get better. it always does. if i draw the same subject over a few times, i always notice improvements from the first to the next.

it's one thing to mark off on my "high school to-do" list, i guess. :)

but.
damn.
my neck is stiff now.
i held still for WAY too long. an hour and a half, but...still...

aargg. time for bed. i'm sleepy.
and i have to work a double-shift tomorrow because we're attempting to make a busy week's worth of bakery products all in one morning. damn. D:

OMGWEBSITE.

Classical @ 06:00 pm CST

i so win!

i now have an official website in which i'll be displaying my art and comics and stuff. if i manage to finish anything, that is. :D

naaaaagging...

Classical @ 07:43 pm CST

i know that's what parents do best, but CHRIST!
i don't have to have my life planned out in one freakin' meal!

while innocently eating tacos for dinner tonight, my mother suddenly gets going with her college rant again. she was all spazzirific about something she read in the local newpaper about college-level courses being offered at the school by mankato university professors. or whatever.
point being, she's bearing down on me as if i had never heard of them before (but i plainly stated that i had; i just couldn't sign up for any of them). she gets going on how good it looks on college applications, and that we had to start planning out my activities to pick the ones that would look best on my application, and blahbity blah blah...
shit, mom. these are senior classes that i can't take yet! i'm juggling four a.p. classes this year alone and at least two or three in my senior year already! you can't possibly think that i'm signing up for my classes without having already thought about what i want to do when i'm out of high school?

i mean. sheesh. back off a little, mother.
i still have two years, and maybe another because i may not enter college immediately.
it's not like i haven't been thinking about what college i want to go to and what i should be doing to have on my applications. it's actually been a more reoccuring thought as of late, since school starts in less that four weeks now (boo T^T).

there's no reason to freak out.
i know that my parents only have the best intentions and wish only the best for me, but...man. my mother was seriously rambling on frantically like a beheaded chicken. almost scary--even my father was rolling his eyes at my mother by how silly she was acting, and he's the one who wants me to graduate valedictorian at some engineering school or whatever. i was almost certain he'd join in.

so i don't very much look forward to how she's gonna act come senior year. ohman.

...
yeah.
and i'm done.

back to html work on my website. i might actually be able to finish it tonight, h0mg!
i haven't been doing anything constructive after work for the past two weeks, except for flopping on the floor, so i'm attempting to get myself out of the rut and get things finished before school starts. i got up early today to get all my laundry done and ink some pictures...got as far as finishing the laundry, anyway. ^^;

quote of the day.

Classical @ 01:02 pm CST

and that is all.
:D

Classical @ 09:29 pm CST

aah, what a say.
so, at work, it started to pour like hell for about an hour. the streets outside were flooding and there was water splashing into the building because of cars outside. the power kept flickering, too. (i kinda hoped it would go out...then i could have probably gone home early. xD)

all of a sudden, the ceiling tiles began to pour out water by one of the doors. they didn't just leak; it was a nice constant steady stream as if someone was taking a piss into a hole on the roof.
and then they started to collapse. giant wet spots on some of them that didn't start to buldge and bend.

yeah, that was a marvelous adventure. there were buckets EVERYWHERE.

so! while i was in back getting buckets, i noted that the back door was WIDE OPEN, allowing rain to simply pour in. i ran across the linoleum and completely forgot my lessons with wet floors after mopping...
i made a nice ten-point landing on my back. had i not kinda caught myself with my right hand, i probably would have hit my head as hard as i hit my bottom and blacked out.
i'm not hurting anymore, but i was as sure as hell sore during the rest of work. and very very wet.

though, apparently, that open back door is a lead to more than a really achy back.
when tracy and dave came in later, tracy kinda freaked out because the computer was on and the log-in screen was up ("i always turn it off!" she insisted). i would've said it might have been because of the power flickering before, but it had come to a screen that has to be manually clicked to and accessed.
someone was apparently in the office.

a bit weird. even stranger yet is that all the garbage cans in back were gone, and their owners weren't the ones who picked them up (someone came to ask about that before i noticed). as before, we assumed that since we were using them for bear bait donations that some greedy hunter himself had picked them up. but, the thing is, they had to be someone that knew we put them back there where we do. not really something someone just randomly stumbles upon.

such a creepy day.
also quite annoying. i came home and had to deal with a hard dose of moronism on gaia. unfortunately, the admins have been really cracking down on harrassment policies as of late, or i would've just EXPLODED into chewing those bastards out.
but that why i have this blog. i can talk shit behind their back if i damn well choose to do so, because i own the webspace. nyyaaaah.

but!
not so creepy, but quite annoying, is the fact that i understand now why my mother dislikes august so much. i went to office max after work and got the supplies i needed for school--four notebooks, pencils, pens, index cards, a planner, and some sticky notes--and it cost me almost $90.
x___X

luckily, my mother will be rembursing my account with that money, but...eeh! so much for some frickin' paper and pencils!

yarr. i go doodle now.

twins! they're everywhere!

Classical @ 09:28 pm CST

okay, so, for the first time EVAR, i saw tokyo godfathers tonight at emily's house.
good movie, makes me giggle and feel all warm inside, too.

but the girl character, miyuki, looks just. like. cleo. my character.
i've never seen this move before, i swear. D: i may have a poster hanging on the back of my door of her, but cleo looks nothing like that! i really only noticed it whenever the girl took off her hat or there was close-up of her face at an angle and we saw how...button-y her nose looked. like cleo.
i mean, hell, miyuki's got the hair, the chubby face and body, the wide eyes, and the nose. she's missing cleo's pouty lips, but otherwise...
they're almost identical twins. D:

speaking of twins!
alexa + anders = long lost twins ...?
yeah. i'm waiting for that kid to come back on the eleventh so i can send that to him. i wish i could see his reaction to it in person, though. xDD

sleeeepy.

Classical @ 01:44 pm CST

holy crap, it's one-thirty and i just got up. D:
i am such a sloth.

it was all a combination of the lack of sleep, work, and the fact that i pulled a muscle in my back REALLY BAD yesterday (and it still hurts T^T) that caused that.

but i had many fantastical dreams, all of which i will not be describing here!, because i slept for twelve hours! and i'm well-rested.
and my parents aren't around to chew me out for sleeping in so late. :D

i need to go do chores now and finish art-related stuff, once i wake up a litle more.
fwee! -skip--er, limps off-

loooovedoodles.

Classical @ 01:45 am CST

Ahaha!
I am loved. <3

Me: -le GASP- h0mg, there's paquito and Cal. ON THE SAME PAGE. Double the sexy! <3 <3

Paquito (rad artist): not only are there Cal and paquito on the same page, there's paquito HITTING on Cal! XD he's like, "hey baby, you must be a parking ticket, cause you got FIIIIINE written ALL OVER YOU!" <3


Ohh, that made my giggle. So loud, that I think I might have woken up my sister in the other room. :D

the bane of my existance!

Classical @ 08:34 pm CST

DAMNIT.
can't. install. iRO.
want. to. PLAY.

bastard corrupted files! this is always the problem with my computer and installing shit. D:
i've downloaded the file three times now... each time taking a whole hour. so bloody slow, 'cause it's like 900 mb.

oh well.
on an unrelated note: i thought anders was leaving for his camp thing mid-august, not tomorrow...?
while trying to pull myself back to furcadia and the roleplay circle i used to be involved in, he's posted a message on the forums about him being gone from the second to the eleventh.
...
he never tells me anything. ; 3;

i hope he sent the box he promised, then. >_<