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the stupidity of people.

Classical @ 03:19 pm CST

GOD FARKING DAMN IT.
yes. fark. because it's cool.

what's not cool is that i almost rear-ended someone today on the way home from school. there i was, driving along the road at the speed limit--45 mph--and i had to go to 0 mph within about five seconds to avoid rear-ending some idiot who's stopped in the middle of the road.

the reason was... get this--
the guy driving the car in front of me was EATING his girlfriend's face, thus was too busy to notice the car in front of him that had slowed down to turn.


just. aagh.
i silently wished that my mini-beast of a car had crashed into the back of his shiny sports car and destroyed it without consequences on my side. morons who are too busy having tongue sex with each other don't deserve to drive.

i actually had to pound on the breaks with both feet. never had to do that before.
grr.

ehh...

Classical @ 04:10 pm CST

oi.
awkward moment.

my brother does this wednesday church thing because my mother basically makes him do so, and since he's little and can't really think for himself, he goes along with it.
but my mother called me up and he was doing some work for that class, and he had to ask some silly religious questions to me.

but i had the hardest time holding my tongue when my brother asked me, "why did god make the bible?"
it took me, like, five minutes to answer that question, and it was so weird. my mother was staring at me, as if she expected an immediate response. i tried to act as if i was simply thinking this over throughly...

i said, "so people have rules to follow."

what i REALLY wanted to say was, "so people without faith in themselves and life itself have something to use as a safety crutch, to think that there is something better after death than the life they were given to live. people have this bible to make them believe that there is some being more powerful and 'good' than they can ever hope to be, where in reality, 'good' and 'evil' don't exist because they are relative terms.
"and god didn't really write the bible; some religious guys did. who were biased because of that."


yeah.
my parents don't know that i don't believe in the bible, nor that "god" that they keep talking about. i'm not a lutheran anymore, not just because i don't attend church often enough, but i don't attend church for a reason.

it was totally uncomfortable.

-----

HAHA.
on a less serious, awkward note... i found something quite amusing...and sadly, very true. :'(
click me!

thanks to the almighty orca...

Classical @ 10:23 pm CST

...I can't stop watching this.

you know you love it. 8D

EDIT: and one more for the home team because i know some certain people 'round here will love this one. XDD

bouncing back faster than a powered-up pacman.

Classical @ 03:09 pm CST

so. yes.
yesterday's over, and my troubles are still here, but i just love getting stuff in the mail...if it's not related to colleges.

got my baumer cd and my copy of anansi boys today, yee~

unfortuately, i won't be able to enjoy them tonight, since i have to truck away on this book report, then go to pit for four hours, meh.
oh well. they finally came. <3

homework is going to be the death of me.

Classical @ 05:35 pm CST

ARRG.
HOMEWORK.

i am so ready to dump my bookbag and my computer in the bonfire pit out back and roast some god damn marshmallows. all this homework is such a fucking waste of my time.

i've had to read so much stuff for geography and psychology, do some worksheets for psych, write essays and answer "short" questions for geography, do some shit for my design class, try to assemble collages for said design class, and then write a book report for geography.
in this four-day weekend i had here, which more people would call a holiday and rejoice, i've been stuck inside my fucking house, in front of my computer or on my desk, working on all this. and i'm STILL working on it, staring at my computer screen blankly and attempting to write up something legible for the book report. in which, nothing coming out, because my brain is absolutely fried.

my geography teacher must have gotten his teaching degree out of a fucking cereal box, i swear to god.
i like the guy as a person, but he SUCKS at teaching and managment of the class he's running. he has no idea of the concept of "balance" instead of "CRAM CRAM CRAM." everything he gives us is always due on the same day as something else or on the day of a test.
if he would just spread things out a bit more, maybe this wouldn't be an issue, but noo...

i'm praying in dire hope that when we get our schedules tomorrow for next quarter that i've accidentally switched teachers, because i can't take this.
-_-

god damn it, i just remembered i have a bunch of fucking paperwork to do for a class... screw this book report; i'll do it later and deprive myself of sleep for it. i don't care anymore.
ARG.


in other news, my gaiman book and baumer CD have STILL not arrived.
i sometimes just hate ordering online from various sources, but i needed the deals. i guess this is what i get for being a bargain shopper, meh.

hmm.

Classical @ 03:19 pm CST

well, when i got home from school just right now, i was gonna whine on and on about how much i hate my school and my teachers and my classes. then i was gonna bitch about how much work i have to do in the next two days when, figuratively, i only have an evening's worth of time between them with pit orchestra.
and then i was gonna rant about how i hate it when no one listens to me and what i am saying until i start shouting, swearing, or crying, or all of the above, like i had to today.

but. eh. it's all evaporated in me now. 'cept for this splitting headache i have.
i think it was the fact that katie's envelope came today and she sent me that marvelous picture of trevor, a mixed cd, and fun little bracelets and stuff. much yay. <3

so. yes.
to homework~

crap.

Classical @ 08:19 pm CST

gah.
i need to draw more stuff for myself.
meaning, not commission work, or something i'm doing for school.
i'm looking through my files here and cleaning up my computer and i realize that the last time i actually drew something, inked it, and officially finished it was in...july.

D:
that's really sad, i'm thinking.

but. i dunno.
maybe i'm just unconsciously feeling really crappy about my artistic abilities and, therefore, have no desire to draw anything for myself. i have all these unfinished pictures that i feel no real desire to finish, since they don't look as good as i'd want them to be... i've basically been doing only commission work all summer 'til now because of this lack of art and the need to keep my abilities, at least, in shape.
i had this one weekend not too long ago where i decided to give up on commission work on gaia. my god, it was depressing. i couldn't even sell my art for pixels. (still can't.)

or maybe it's school. i haven't really had much time to even think about art, let alone doing it.

but i think it's the first.


._.

uff. i'm normally not like this, so i have no idea how to really deal with it.
i really don't feel like i'm comparing myself to anyone, it's just that...my art seems to be lacking in the thing that people want to see. very few people seem to appreciate my artistic style, and the ones who do are artists themselves, so they have a more cultured taste.
i'm just..i don't know, upset? that i can't seem to bring attention to my art anywhere because i don't cater to the average person (artists and non-artists alike) with my stuff that isn't digitally painted, super shiny, and looks like something from a japanese cartoon.


...
guh. i feel so stupid and whiny and moronic because i feel like this, because, i mean, every artist does and half the time they just want attention. and i guess i do want attention.
and i feel totally hypocritical, because i absolutely hate it when artists don't have enough confidence in their abilities.


erg. fuckity fuck-fuck, damn it to hell, shit-fuck. just..damn it, i HATE this. so fucking much. i hate feeling even mildly depressed, let alone really down, but i also feeling like beating some stranger's face in, and that's a scary thought.
i need to randomly vent through cursing and whining at something else.
-wanders off-

use condoms.

Classical @ 04:59 pm CST

holy fuck.
best. commercial. ever.
and it totally speaks for myself when i say that i never want to have children, because my genes are screwed like this.

click me!
(the guy in it is so hot. :'D)


yanked from nuriko, because i can. :D <3

happy fucking columbus day.

Classical @ 03:32 pm CST

so yeah.
courtney = pissed. i blew a half an hour of time driving around because i didn't remember that today was columbus day and the fucking post office isn't open on these obcsure holidays no one cares to remember.

i only had one thing to mail to katie and it didn't get mailed, plus i blew a bunch of gas because i was driving around everywhere.
damnit.

gah.
why DO we have a fucking "columbus day," anyway?! not like the guy really discovered america, after all...

gah.

Classical @ 02:16 pm CST

aah, weekend, where have you gone?
i've gotten nothing done, really. well, some things. but not enough. ..

i'm sure i'm not helping the cause by sitting here at the computer, but...yeah. y'know. :P


but, blah. the annoyances of everyday life.
i ordered this ep cd from a band i love called stateless from a marketplace seller on amazon.com. they sent it to me really really late. it took much longer than they said it would to ship.

so i left somewhat negative feedback on their page. i was reasonable about it; not like i chewed their ear off for being late.
but someone e-mails me about it from the company and said that i was "being unfair" about my feedback. they finally gave me an explanation for why it was late--apparently the order got lost for a while and then they found it and shipped it out or something.

well. y'know. it would have been nice to know that BEFORE i left the feedback.
>_o

i'm, like, gah. i totally understand that shit happens, but don't go calling ME unfair when it was you who didn't provide an explanation for why it was late in the first place.

probably will still not be buying from them again. they're feeling more unreliable than before, since they can't be bothered to tell me why there was a delay. i would've been totally understanding if they had told me why it was so late, but i had no explanation, nothing.

bah.
stupid people. >>;


speaking of things being late, that damn box hasn't made it to norway yet, apparently.
sorry dan. :(

holy hell.

Classical @ 06:15 pm CST

crap, i think my brain is going to explode.

this psychology project that i'm doing with my group is so complex...yet so interesting!
we watched this movie...what the BLEEP do we know? it's...just...wow. hell. i don't look at the world the same way anymore. i never really fully understood what certain things meant to me in my life... some things, like religion and the reason why the hell i am here... i'm understanding it better now. i think.

i have a total different understanding of everything now.

just. fuck, man. watch it yourself and take notes.
just...so amazing.

now!
i resume patching up my brain from where it has burst from overstuffing it with information. :D
away~!

so pathetic.

Classical @ 09:06 am CST

T^T
i am running out of money to the point that i'm picking up and saving every last piece of change i find in my room, on the ground, wherever.


guh. SO MUCH HOMEWORK this weekend.
i wanted to get a bunch of commission work done before pit really started up and absorbed all my free time (i have, like, four pieces to finish right now TT) but noooooo.

though, i haven't gotten a call from anyone in my psychology class for our group project we're supposed to be working on this weekend, so i have no idea if i'm doing something with them this weekend or not...
(i hope not.)
i really don't want to spend more of my precious free time doing homework like this. and i hate group projects, did i mention that?

grrr.